I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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