I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
