Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
