the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
