i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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