so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
