I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
