Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
