I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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