This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize