we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Randomize