Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
