One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My breasts were aching with rage.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
