i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
