I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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