i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dignity is for republicans.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
