Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize