just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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