have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
These tits shall not be calmed
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
