the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
