Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
