He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
