My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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