craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
