So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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