I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
