I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
