she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
