Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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