My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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