he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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