this just has baby written all over it
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
