needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
