Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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