Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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