I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
