I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize