I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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