white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
