His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
why do cheetos always look like penises
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
