I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
