Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
