just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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