You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize