is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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