I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
