I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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