I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We had sex on a dog bed..
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
