I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
