My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
