Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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