Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
