you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize