Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
