Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
