So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
