if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
