Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
