i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The struggles of a small town man whore
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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