My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
