awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
