I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
