how hairy? two words: wookie tits
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
