I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
