I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
