I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i would punch a child for taco bell
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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