the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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