i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
