Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
