I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
worst night to have a conscience
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Randomize