I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
