Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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