Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We are all done wearing pants today
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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