Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
