You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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