At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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