they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize