you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
