Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
