btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
