Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
